RTD Czech Odyssey: Day 1
by jack on June 29th, 2007
- In which we challenge the Czechs to a series of odd games and Rich worries he’s broken his rib….
“I’m going to steal this sausage pastie from you. Oh, and you’ve given me a lot of change so I’ll rape your Dad!”
And so RTD’s relationship with the Czech folk warmed as we set about ripping up the small town of (still not sure what it called actually) apart. Armed with only a fistful of gobbler sheets (Jack’s translation for all foreign currencies) and the translation skills of our hobbit-like guide Andrew, we took to a small bar packed with every arcade experience ever – and while Mark flirted with Czech women (and when they had gone… brutal looking men) Rich smacked back the cheapest shots he could find - and threw darts at the floor, managing a total score of 5 in 15 darts.
But it had nearly been so different earlier on, as fuelled by the promise of 3 quid pints and packets of dirty English fags in the airport (god I hate the UK sometimes) – we had somehow managed to miss the boarding request, the ‘hurry-up’ boarding request and much to our collective horror, perhaps the final boarding request as the screen blinked the ominous looking words ‘final call’ at us – suggesting that dire beatings could well be about to be meted out to us by management…. And Shell’s one scary lady!
But we got a sprint one chariots of fire style and made it – and after the sweatiest flight ever known, where sweaty men bemoaned sitting next to sweaty men, whilst wallowing in pools of sweat – we arrived in sweaty Czech Republic to be greeted by big sweaty men with big sweaty guns – but a decidedly fresh Robert (tour manager) and Andrew who took us immediately to a garage where we stocked up on bottles of Zubr and filthy porn (seriously filthy porn!) and trekked through the border (no issues there although the border guard gave Dave a smouldering ‘if you stay in my country I’ll make you a happy housewife look’.)
And so, here I sit in the café with the boys – reflecting on Mark and Rich’s massive drunken play-fight in the car park (”don’t worry – we’re only hitting in the torso”) and the searing pain in Rich’s rib… Indeed, when asked to describe the problem he reached deep into the heart of his semantic vaults and came up with the insightful yet subtle description ‘ow.’ And now they’re talking Dr Doolittle – so I’m gonna sign off and kick em square in the bollocks.
Tonight’s the first gig and we’re on at 10! Mini festival of twenty bands…. Fuckin’ Mexico!
Rock 3 rates The Machine the perfect album?
by jack on June 2nd, 2007
Well - not quite… 
but by giving us a 100% score, it seems we’ve come pretty close.
Comparing the sound to that of metal legends Iron Maiden, Rock3 have made us very happy - fucking legends.
Oh - and in other news, after long being out of stock, Play.com and Amazon have finally got the remainder of our stock in… And we got just a few copies of the album left for sale on the MySpace if you fancy having a listen yourself - just hit the buy it now button. 7 quid (which includes postage).
“The Machine has been unleashed and who can stop it.”
Rock on!!
lv RTD